I've written in my journal before how opening up to people might have actually been a mistake.
How some of my friends only care for aspects of me that they can digest without trouble.

Well, one of my friends told me that I should stop drawing the stuff I do (I guess anime or cartoons) and do it only as a hobby while concentrating something I'm better at. (Maybe "real art". tcht.)

Ouch.

Like what though? What the hell can I do better than this? But you know, that's not the point...

I know my life hasn't been the rocket to a career in art and even in my DA description, I put in hobbyist because I know I'm nowhere right now.
I've also fessed up to the idea that it won't happen, especially at my age but when someone that has known you for a long time and knows how important this is to you tells you in a roundabout way how mediocre your stuff is, it's just excruciating. It literally feels like they're telling you to change your skin because it's not pretty to look at. I know I'm not a prodigy or have even evolved very much over the years and I know that I'm not super popular or "avant-garde" or have a unique style but I don't do this to be "different" or "innovative" hell, I barely do this to express my feelings. I do it because I need a way to process my creativity. If it's stories, cartoons, anime or comics, that's what I'll draw. I don't NEED to change if I'm not ready for it. I can only do it when I'm ready and DAMN what you think art  is supposed to be. I just draw for the joy of it and basking in this imaginary world that I can manipulate with my own hands. Nothing more or less.

So I'm going to follow the words of Sia that I didn't put in this quote:

But you won't see me fall apart,  'Cause I've got an elastic heart

Lyrics to song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RYY0h…

So did this fast to vent so I can get back to work for my damn convention.